Characteristics of Healthy Romantic Relationships
Does your romantic relationship exhibit these qualities?
-
caring: partners care for each other and profess that caring openly
-
friendship: partners are friends first and have fun together
-
acceptance: partners accept each other as they are
-
open communication: partners listen to each other and say what's on their minds
-
trust: partners trust each other and are trustworthy
-
equality: partners are equal in power and share decision-making
-
safety: partners respect each other's boundaries and resolve conflicts without violence
-
mutual support: partners support each other's goals and values
Warning Signs of Unhealthy Relationships
Watch for these warning signs in your partner:
-
Controlling behavior: Your partner insists on always knowing where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing; your partner tries to prevent you from seeing friends and family
-
Jealousy: Your partner flies into a rage any time you pay attention to someone else and accuses you of being unfaithful
-
Disrespect: Your partner is mean or rude to you
-
Violence: Your partner hits, slaps, shoves, kicks, punches, or otherwise physically abuses you
-
Alcohol & Drugs: Your partner abuses alcohol or drugs and pressures you to do so as well
-
Exploitation: Your partner makes you do things sexually that you are uncomfortable with
-
Secrecy: Your partner doesn't acknowledge you or your relationship openly
Watch for these warning signs in yourself:
-
You feel controlled, threatened, isolated, or put down by your partner
-
You always feel drained, anxious, or unsure of yourself around your partner
-
You argue about the same things again and again
-
You often have sex but rarely go out together
-
What you like most about the relationship is what your partner does for you (money, gifts, etc.)
-
You're so wrapped up in the relationship that you have no energy for your studies, hobbies, friends, or family
-
You would feel incomplete without a partner
If this describes your relationship, talk to a counselor for help.
Signs That a Friend May Need Help
Those who experience intimate partner violence or sexual abuse can be deeply affected. They may feel vulnerable and need support to establish a new sense of normalcy. Here are signs of concern:
-
strong emotions like anger, fear, anxiety, or depression;
-
low self-esteem, self-blaming, or suicidal thoughts;
-
numbness, withdrawal, or lack of trust;
-
increased alcohol or drug consumption.
Appropriate sex is...
-
consensual: partners agree about what they do together
-
non-exploitative: partners have equal power, and neither pressures or forces the other
-
mutually pleasurable: both partners enjoy the experience
-
safe: low risk of unintended pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, or emotional pain
-
developmentally appropriate: suitable to the age and maturity of the persons involved
-
caring: partners have mutual expectations and affection for one another
-
respectful: partners value honesty and keeping commitments made to others
-
private: in your own space, not viewed or shared by others